filipinos play greatest engineered hoax (or are all insane)
on the west coast of the United States, it's -8 hours from GMT while at the exact same time, in the philippines, +8 GMT. these are facts as widely recognized by world-renowned intelligentsia as the tufts of gray hairs growing out of my ears, butt-crack and chode. but for some reason, all filipinos have agreed to be +8:15 GMT. it's a clear violation of both the geneva convention and oslo accords (maybe even tack on the kyoto protocol too).
it's like a well-planned inside joke that only foreigners aren't in on. ask anyone here the time and i assure you it's about 10-15 minutes ahead of the accepted international standard. despite wearing my own watch, at least thrice a day, i ask a stranger the time and i consistently receive +15 minute replies. i know my watch is spot on. i've checked it against one of those internet atomic watches as well as my laptop's clock that syncs up with satellites operated by incredibly intelligent on-board space monkeys. or russians. one of the two.
it's like a parallel universe or perhaps a vortex (if you will) in the philippines. "native" filipino english speakers have difficulty communicating with american english speakers. i blame the local school system here for training people exclusively for employment in foreign countries in either nursing or airport security. or maybe the inability to communicate is because i'm not the briniest pickle in the jar. or conversely, it's due to the fact that these people are way ahead of their time. 15 minutes ahead to be exact.
every day i realize how strange this place is. maybe it's me. maybe i expect certain things out of a country that's so americanized that it has taco bells and doritos - found nowhere else outside the US except maybe US military bases. but i'm not here to blame myself. i'm here to point fingers because it's the american, and therefore, the only way.
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as of August 10, i'm a year older, a year less mature and as the aging formula dictates, i'll now start chasing girls a year younger than those i was chasing before my birthday. at this rate, in 10 years, i'll be intercepting sperm and egg before they have a chance to conceive.
this place is so stunning, i just accidentally released a morsel of urine. the rice terraces of Batad earned a spot on my top 3 most gorgeous places on earth. if the place had internet, it'd easily be in my top 2 most beautiful places on earth.
described in one word, shameless. maybe these ads are found in california but i've personally never seen them. listed under the section "services", the newspaper editor could've gone with full 100% disclosure and declared "for deviant hire".