the approach resembled the inca trail leading to machu picchu but with more tremendous amounts of torment. i was laden with a 40 pound backpack and hiking for 2 hours in unrelenting heat while saddled with punishing diarrhea. it was a difficult endeavor and i believe the word hero is not out of line to describe my accomplishment. the rice terraces reminded me of the cliffs of positano but without a trace of my arch-enemy, the package tourist. in fact, very few tourists were present as a result of low tourist season. take away the unslightly tin-roof eyesores and i'm certain batad would attract positano level tourism.

the philippines is a mall culture and as many of you are familiar, i'm well known to shop 'til i drop... given the proper plus-sized lingerie store. but i can get used to daily hikes to waterfalls and surrounding deep gorges until i lose a few pounds of baby fat that never went away (particularly from the chesticlular area).

but i missed mcdonalds too much. it's interesting because i never really enjoyed mcdonalds that much until filipino cooking forced me to find an edible alternative. imagine any crap college cafeteria meal, then take away heat and flavor and you've got filipino food. it's as if this adventurous cuisine is based on the theory of combining incompatible foods then labeling it with the motto, "together at last". much like my drinking problem (diet coke) i'm now addicted to big macs. i'm proud to say though that in a month and a half, i haven't visited a single jollibee, the local fast food chain where gelatinous burgers and sugary spaghetti sicken the foreign stomach.

i'm heading back to manila now to recharge. and to answer your question, yes, i will try to appear on CNN and BBC World during an anti-GMA (president Gloria Macapagal Arroyo) rally. and to answer your other question, i do have a nickname for my buttocks: "the cockpit".