Previous useless rants Page                   HOME               Next useless rants Page     Jump to:

November 24, 2004

girls: rule #573

look, i'm not gonna lie to you guys... i have a thing for women with flaring nostrils. it doesn't necessarily mean anything deeper, i'm just sharing.

November 11, 2004

did you know?

china has a historical figure named "cao pi"?

more examples of chinese gaud

why does food look so unappealing in styrofoam? the chinese have mastered the art of food served in unpleasing ways including serving noodle soup in a clear plastic bag.

[ Section for displaying ads ]


when will these western chinese muslim people understand that they have to cater to my culinary tastes. enough w/ the mutton already! as worthless as chinese food (here it's unsurprisingly called "food") is, i'm dying for some cream of sum yung gai or the long dong (horse meat).

Continue reading "why!?" »

November 01, 2004

cursed commies!

look, you gotta cut me some slack. the communist government here censors all internet cafes so no usb ports or cd roms actually serve its intended function. in short, i can't upload any pictures. if it's any consolation, the pictures are worthless. i haven't even yet bitten into my first set of chicken feet. that is all for now

why god why?!

if i hear the words feng shui one more time...!!!

rules on food (amended)

food necessarily tastes better if:
1) it arrives sizzling
2) served in a breadbowl (i.e. a hollowed out roll)
3) the person dines in a rotating building
4) served in miniature form (believe me on this one)
5) the meat served is not mutton (instituted as a result of mongolian "cuisine")

western infidels!

wtf!? there's no such thing as mongolian bbq in mongolia! after some investigating, i've learned that mongolian bbq, the smorgasbord of endless meat slabs and intense bowel complaints, is a western fabrication (much like nike sneakers or the moon landing)

[ Section for displaying ads ]

September 24, 2004

language deficiencies

why does everyone here yell at each other? chinese appears to be the language of the neverending argument. amazingly though, the people here are incredibly friendly... i've been savagely beaten only thrice in 1.5 weeks and they didn't even rob me of my money on 2 of those occasions! good people

June 17, 2004

eat me

yo sucka mc

testing part 2

June 16, 2004



Previous useless rants Page                   HOME               Next useless rants Page     Jump to: