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checkout time... extended

i am worthless and the world knows it. add to my troubles an ongoing hemorrhoid problem of the external variety that recently flared up due to uncontrollable explosive diarrhea worthy of the Indian subcontinent.

(photo courtesy of webmd.com... and incidentally, that's exactly the shape and contour of my own pubis)

i wish i were joking about the 'rhoids but i'm as serious as a Weimar Republic comedian. i take comfort when webmd states "about 50% of people older than 50 have had hemorrhoids at some time in their life." in other words, if you're in a room with 2 people over the age of 50, one of those sleezeballs have the 'rrhoids and you should ridicule them mercilessly.

...but i've now found something worth extending my life for - at least until mid-summer.


view the incredible trailers and i'm sure you too will postpone your suicide plans or hemorrhoid surgery for just after the 4th of July holiday weekend.


Wow.....Looks like you have long bus rides ahead!

i bought 4 doughnuts to sit on. next step is getting in there with my swiss army knife to perform a bit of auto-sphincter surgery.

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