in case you thought i was dead, i'm not. it's my pleasure to disappoint you. add some projectile kimchi to the previous statements and it reminds me of every Christmas i've spent at home with my family. traditional korean-american christmas means exchanging wrapped gifts while simultaneously berating each other for disappointing you on a daily basis.

what happens when you combine incompetence at my web host's customer service and traveling in a country that has less internet than central Tajikistan? the answer, as it turns out, is a full month of thejerk.org downtime. i'm absolutely convinced the monkeys manning the customer service department are paid per email. it gives them a financial incentive to 'misread' my emails, repeatedly and go home knowing they deserved their $4.25/hour paycheck.

anyway, baby jesus, mary, josef and the hamburglar were moderately good to me this year so i wanted to return the generosity. consider the 35-day thejerk.org downtime a part of my usual christmas largesse. sorry i couldn't be with you in person to stuff a slab of coal in your stocking either.

and as is my new year's tradition since 2003 to designate the upcoming year's moniker, i present to you 2007: the year of getting down to my scientifically determined weight based on my height, age, sex and ethnicity. (aka the year of losing 30 - 35 lbs)

in case you're keeping score at home, the previous years declarations:

2006: the year of touching at least 1 female (mission: failed)
2005: the year of avoiding malaria and/or dengue fever and/or a sneaky castro (mission: results unknown)
2004: the summer of pantslessness (mission: accomplished)
2003: the summer of shirtlessness (mission: overwhelmingly accomplished)

stay tuned because as lord vishnu as my witness, i will update thejerk.org at least 1 or 2 times a month!

ciao, regazzi.