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"San Francisco hosts self-pleasure marathon"

day 6 and my body is torn to shreds. i'm sooo c-c-cold. but on a lighter note:

this article shows another reason why i never truly belonged in San Francisco. call me crazy but i tend to keep my "munchkin punching" habits to more secluded areas, like my grandma's dark linen closet or the bathroom at the local Arby's down the street.

i imagine it'd be difficult to perform under such close scrutiny but if i know anything about SF and the deviant lumberjacks fresh off their recent back shavings that attend these events, the pressure could be prohibitive. the scene will look as such: 200 overweight, burly men naked only from the waste down pumping away vigorously while awkwardly glancing into each others' eyes to monitor the competition. those going for longest duration have their work cut out for them. the real challenge would be to release your love batter as quickly as possible under such a harsh and inhospitable environment.

san franciscans sicken me but if anyone happens to be at the event, send me some polaroids! party time!

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