introducing, Lior, the israeli infidel. frankly, in the 2 weeks i've traveled with him, i've never seen as much bacon, pork chop and seafood consumption out of a jew since the chunky sack and i during our 4th and 7th annual collegiate Sizzler eating competition. forget the fact that both Lior and the chunky sack's Yom Kippur tradition is to eat a slab of sweaty pork chop (with milk), their proportions are also nearly identical right down to the superfluous testicle tucked behind their miniature scrotums. did i mention both are descendants of polish jews and 90% covered in body/back/anus hair? (don't ask how i know, and i won't tell you)

in case y'all aren't up with your world religions, it's pretty ricockulous for a jewish person to eat pork and shellfish as declared by some holy book somewhere. and because it's in print, like this blog, it's gotta be true. so when god strikes him down, i have no choice but to lay claim to all of his electronic equipment and jettison the rest of his bag into the sulu sea. hey, don't be hatin'... i'm just one of god's workers dutifully fulfilling his request. the request to horde all unclaimed electronics.