boracay... mo' like chloracay!
aside from the forced Billy Madison reference, i suppose it'd be wise to describe wtf a "boracay" is for those of you not in the know. 2 months in the philippines and nearly every filipino i've met asked if i'd been to boracay island. turns out, boracay is the island paradise touted as the philippines' premiere destination, kinda like the phuket of thailand. oh, you haven't been to thailand? perhaps a better analogy is the hawaii of america. oh, you haven't been to hawaii either. let's try, the jersey shore of new jersey minus the wife-beatered guidos. if you're not familiar with the jersey shore, i won't bother attempting to compare boracay with the bed of thejerk's bedroom.
despite it's self-declared reputation as the best beach in the world, i've found an over-touristed, over-developed, over-hyped, over-koreanified island which otherwise would be a slightly above average beach in my esteemed opinion. considering i'm a well-traveled beach connoisseur, you'd be out of your skull to disregard my erudite perspectives on beaches and furthermore, life as we know it.
regardless, i came to boracay not because of, but in spite of its reputation. if i'd skipped it, it'd be like going to china and not visiting the great wall or avoiding the famed ping pong ball shows spread around the greater bangkok metropolitan area. don't get me wrong, it's a fine beach with good, not great, sand but the reputation and lack of visible prostitution brings it down a few notches.
unfortunately, for most island stories like boracay, there are stories of the disaffected natives huddled together at night begging for change and discriminated against for the color of their dark skin and tightly curled hair. the seedy underbelly of boracay is a tale of the original inhabitants swept aside in the name of progress and tourism... which would normally be fine with me but to squeeze out the natives and force in faux-western establishments with true-western prices is an outrage; immediately after i check out of my 5-star hotel, my mission in the philippines will be to besmirch the overrated reputation of both boracay and my arch-enemy, the equally overrated ipod. and while i'm at it, i'll do a number on the ubiquitous cargo pants worn by the youth of today.
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Comments
you aren't going to pakistan. you go there and some radical islamic guy is going to make you have sex with his goat. why on earth would you want to go there? you have clearly lost it... either that or jungle fever ravaged your mind.
you are better off going to the dark continent (otherwise known as africa). i'm thinking about doing kilamanjaro in the future... the only thing is that it costs a butte load to go... but now that i am employed with the federal government... my pockets are starting to feel heavier.
i've got the travel bug again... future destinations include edinburg, marseille, thailand... and of course africa. its on!
Posted by: betsy bigguns | September 16, 2005 11:12 AM
your promises mean nothing to me, oh young turd, minority leader of the democratic librarians on capitol hill.
i've waited for you too long and too often to trust you anymore. you hurt me. you hurt me bad. i've got tears on my cheeks and urine stains on my carpet still from the day you promised me you'd come to thailand... and reneged. and don't even get me started about the time you pretended your mother was pregnant with my baby. that was a dirty trick to make me stay.
i've lost faith in humanity.
but if you make it over this way, give me a shout. we'll grab a beer and ping pong ball show!
Posted by: thejerk | September 17, 2005 01:53 AM
Hoy, Kupal!
Thanks for your unbiased critique about Boracay. I visited that open sewer in the 90's and wasn't that impressed either. Imagine how worse it got afterwards. I so totally agree with you, there are BETTER beaches in the world, even in the Philippines in particular. And by the way, did your mama know you ate non-kosher pig meat? Yikes!!! Kadiri to death! 'Yun lang!
Posted by: Vanessa Vangkiyyud | January 27, 2007 05:09 PM