ok, i'm finally here. almost as far west in china as i can possibly go. the city, kashgar, has an interesting mix of 'stan people (kyrgistan, uzbekistan, pakistan, etc.) instead of the usual ungroomed chinaman. not much to report just yet as it's only my first day here. at the very least, it's not cold and the majority muslim population have yet to discover i'm american... so i won't be kidnapped and beheaded (yet).
so i'm headed out to western china, a recommendation from an american gal i met ages ago in india
it took the better part of 7 years for my first encounter with foreign lowlives and a near stabbing. the most surprising part of it all was that it happened in an otherwise safe country (china).
outside of ulaan batar, the rural parts of the country have an 1800's frontier feel to it (at least what i know from watching little house on the prairie reruns and ronald reagan movies).
Continue reading "mongolia, what a country (i.e. a country full of mutton)!" »
after meeting taverstock jo, i decided to tag along on, what in retrospect was, an ill thought out idea: to travel from beijing to ulaan batar by local trains.
Continue reading "3 day journey to ulaan batar (the hard way)" »
took a slight detour to mongolia so i'm currently resting in ulaan batar before i make my way back to china. my site's been extremely difficult to update b/c of the media restrictions in china. as a result i haven't been able to upload pictures and send in any idiotic stories from china. but soon enough, i shall. i climbed the great wall and nearly got stabbed in beijing (stories to come).
before my 3 gorges river cruise in chongqing, a 60 y/o man beckoned me over to him. i figured he was innocuous enough with his gray beard and ear to ear grin. when i approached him, i couldn't hear what he was saying to me so i went in closer. that's when it happened. he extended his left hand and with a cupping motion, proceeded to engage my testicles in the most gentle yet mentally damaging way possible. i smacked his hand away and proceeded to get his number... the date didn't work out. we had far too different futures.
i'm...so...hungry
english speakers are hard to come by. the normally trivial task of ordering food at a restaurant is so cumbersome i've grown accustomed to skipping meals particularly when there is an absence of a mcdonalds or equally familiar american chain restaurant.
spent a brief day in guangzhou (read: worthless 4th largest chinese city) located in the guangdong (teehee) province where my guidebook alluded to a meat market that essentially doubles as an edible zoo. i expected monkeys, snakes, sea lion hearts; i got puppies, turtles, lizards, & cockroaches. not only were the puppies playful and adorable, they looked mighty tender and savory dipped in a hearty soy broth. later that day, i met a chinese dude that informed me that wild animal consumption is illegal. there goes my long anticipated dream of dining on tiger penis. that's alright i suppose... horse penis packs more meat (so to speak) anyway.
arrived today to hong kong. i've packed a minimal amount of underwear which i now don't see as a problem as underwear cannot (and should not) be worn in such stifling heat. throughout the day, i maintain a thin coat of sweat that glosses my hairless exterior, giving the appearance that i'm a well oiled, albeit, chubby body builder.
i'm currently staying at a 12th floor "hotel" that offers among other things, massages and visa services. seeing the massage clientele, i doubt their visas are not created by a shady group of counterfeiters working without government approval. i took my chances and got what appears to be a legitimate 3 month china visa. more accurately, it's 3 one month visas meaning between each visa, i must somehow exit the country to renew the subsequent leg of my visa. mongolia and kazhakstan, here i come, i guess.
the single room i'm renting is the exact size of a twin bed in length and width. it affords me just enough room to wedge myself into what appears to be an acceptable sleeping position in between my large oversized sack and the cold tiles that cover all four walls of the room. judging from the decor and dull odor, i can't be certain this room wasn't at one time a bathroom.
i am scared.
perhaps i can chalk this up to first day jitters. i tell myself it'll get better once i start to meet some english speaking people. no luck yet as i've been confined to the extreme corner of the "hotel." luckily, someone in the building currently broadcasts a weak wireless internet signal that my laptop is able to receive so i can intermittently make communication with the outside world.
soon i'll leave the comforts of the US & A for leg two of my poontastic journey. it's been comfortable here in Los Angeles going to the beach and overeating at various AYCE restaurants in the neighborhood. relaxation aside, all i have to show for the past three months of lethargy and internet surfing are innumerable clogged toilets and fatty deposits on my body normally associated with the fairer sex. the following image illustrates my decline into an uncontrollable shame spiral.
