August 04, 2008

new phantasticle photo pheatures

for those keeping score at home, you'll notice a new "slideshow" feature on my photo page that looks something like this:

slideshow's a feature provided free by the piclens people over there on their website. it's simple to run a boring standard slideshow but for full screen 3D action, install a firefox or IE addon and you'll have photos flying around you in no time. Previously, you could use piclens to view 3D photos and video on some great sites like flickr, facebook, youtube, and google. now another top web property supports piclens: thejerk.org. don't get me wrong, forked dong devils, the slideshow works without the add-on but for the best 3D experience, it behooves you to install the piclens addon. and while you're at it, you might as well snap some photos of that forked dong of yours and have a doctor look at your photo in piclens' 3D environment.

this is just one of the many ways i'm employing underpaid sweatshop laborers in guangdong, china to bring you high quality, low cost content.

oh you thought that was it, didn't you!? you were gonna go try out the piclens application weren't you?! you were picking up that phone to inquire about elective cosmetic surgery? not so fast, Vegetable Lasagna, because there's more! i had my enforcers at the guangdong factory beat out another fine feature from my underaged employees:

Continue reading "new phantasticle photo pheatures" »

February 28, 2008

look above!!!

we have a new logo!!!!

i needed to make a change to the photoshop file to allow easier editing of the "yellow banner of disease related news". so while i was in there, i made some small enhancements to the color scheme and/or layout.

i rule!

that's it suckers! go back to your mundane lives, not filled with sexy thai women nor the uncanny ability to bench press 470 pounds (and that's w/o creatine, ladies!). i'm huge.

January 09, 2008

RSS for photo lovers only, bitches! (verdict: flickr-licious)

i've hacked together an RSS feed for the following flickr page which flickr (or parent yahoo) hasn't yet provided an RSS feed for:


the previous flickr page is only an example calendar for the month of august. what i'm scraping on my RSS is each day's "greatest hits" of photos on flickr, updated on a daily basis for the previous day's most popular photos.

my feed collects 3 pages worth of the day's "greatest hits" photos and displays them in an easily digestable manner. RSS the following link in your favorite RSS reader, you scoundrels:


and for the filthy perverts out there (read: my german and swiss audience), there are the occasional "artsy" nudes displayed. kinda like watching a scrambled playboy channel (b/c you're too cheap to pay for it), you may or may not see a nipple. nor that hot woman on dog action the Teutonic peoples tend to prefer.

[ Section for displaying ads ]

October 01, 2007

new feature: comment challenge (spam-fighter sans tights)

Comment Challenge ver. 1.02 now installed on thejerk.org (for your non-erotic pleasure).

turns out most automated spam can be knocked out cold just by adding a CAPTCHA (Completely Automated Public Turing Test to Tell Computers and Humans Apart) question. what does this mean for you? not much. but for those few of you who actually take the time to post hate comments, your vitriol is published immediately by typing a simple word, which for now is "jerk"... oh joy!

if you have any issues working this or the CAPTCHA question is too hard, respectively email me or treat yourself to a full frontal lobotomy.

(highest respects to author, Jay Allen for writing this piece of blogging gold download.)