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the pocket president

the 300 year legacy of spanish rule in the philippines evidently is extreme laziness and hence, more festivals (read: holidays) than you can possibly imagine. the reigning festival on camiguin island involves the praise of a cherry sized fruit called a lanzone. what i'm saying is, these people will create any reason to take off work. but that's not necessarily a bad thing considering i've taken off work for the past 2.5 years.

now let's cut to the chase. gloria macapagal arroyo, (aka GMA) the current "madam" president, here for the festival was nearly touched quite inappropriately by me. take it from me, she's not so attractive in the biblical sense but really, i haven't felt female skin in so long, my suspicion is they've modified it while i was away.

the following picture doesn't lie. she's about 4 feet 4 inches (no idea in centimeters) and would fit perfectly in my shirt pocket. i've never wanted so much to pinch a world leader's cheeks since the reign of German prime minister, Helmut Kohl.


if i'd wanted my arm twisted beyond a natural angle, i could've reached out and grabbed a boob... or a cooter, for that matter. instead, i simply wished her luck as she passed me as i dutifully waited in line to shake her hand.


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