i grant an exception to ipod owners that own a macintosh or those that were presented with ipods as gifts from well intentioned but ignorant relatives, or even the chunky sacks who won their ipods at their company christmas dinner. wait, i take that last one back. the chunky sack being jewish, unscrupulously took advantage of a holiday not within the realm of judaism and its strict dietary restrictions. the rest of you have absolutely no excuse for yielding to catchy guerilla advertising campaigns or the relentless power of ignorant word of mouth.

what the hell am i going on about you ask? i just purchased myself a fine piece of digital audio multimedia hardware that plays the standard slate of music files but also displays images, video and can read text files, all on a color screen (that's "colour" for you euro-trash tuning in) for less money than the same gigabyted ipod (is that a word? gigabyted?). besides the price, my iriver mp3 player is recognized by any windows operating system without additional drivers and is therefore easier to transfer music directly without the need to go thru the i-tunes middle man. the wide range of mp3 player on the market clearly indicate ipods are inferior products but some brainlessly follow the herd. and to anyone citing ipod's "ease of use", i have a question: who dresses you in the morning?

did i mention it also has a USB host port that allows file transfer to and from another USB device without the use of a PC? oh, and i forgot to mention the wired remote, FM tuner, durable pleather carrying case, line in and voice recording, as well as the AA backup battery pack, all included with my device. and one last thing, did i mention i'm having an excrutiating time urinating without blood in my stream? take that ipod schmucks!

you pc ipod people make me want to wretch... unless you have non-pendulous breasts and your face resembles something between a middle aged linda carter and young mary-kate olsen. or anyone with flaring nostrils. in these cases, you make me want to take my pants off. but the rest of you. i spit at thee.

on a related note: gmail me as many good new MP3's you can! i need to fill the 10 leftover gigabytes worth of space not occupied by pornography. (see previous post)