they crowned a new 2005 useless beeyatch Miss Universe and she's white... how novel. i suppose no one by now expects to see a black miss universe again although we do expect that a black contestant necessarily makes it to the final 5 (so the judges don't appear racist) and that the host country's contestant gets a useless award like, nicest shaved beaver pattern (so the judges don't get lynched).

if you're actually interested in watching the show tonight (May 31st) don't click on the rest of this message because i reveal who won. your choices are narrowed a bit. she's not black, nor ms. thailand. i'll give you a hint: (it's miss canada). i hope you won't be tempted by that hint.