September 03, 2008

foodstuff budgets the world over

while we're still sobering up from the whole international spirit of the olympics and drooling over the underage cooter of different nationality's gymnasts, check out this delicious photo essay of weekly food intake from families around the world:

(hehe, the dong family of Beijing)

Bhutan: $5.03 for a family of 12!?!?! Must be nice to graze on freerange grass.

these bitches got nuttin' on me. give me a few heat rocks and a weeks worth of clean water and i'll keep that budget down to US$10... AND have money left to squeeze in a Bic Mac value meal.

July 29, 2008

the clean and jerk (from home, so to speak)

3 thumbs up to anyone that can guess why thejerk is back home in the US&A for the summer (multiple choice):

a) much like a high class call-girl, i'm sick and tired of traveling, changing beds every other night, and chock full of rare STDs. i need a break.

b) the man formerly known as "chunky sack" has hung up his dried and shriveled gonads to get married (this time to a vertebrate). his hairline wasn't getting any thicker, folks, so he locked something down while he had the chance!

3) need uninterrupted time to provide my full in-depth coverage of the 2008 Olympics Clean and Jerk competition (the Snatch, not so much). we, here at thejerk.org are single-handedly fighting olympics apathy, one ridiculous 'sporting' event at a time.

f) it's hot as fark in india and they're on the verge of the dreaded monsoon season. 120 degrees, muggy, and perma-moist crotch is no way to go through life, kids.

4d) 4 1/2 words: Hollywood summer blockbusters. (read: Mamma Mia, the global smash hit!)

4e) equipment upgrades/purchases including but not limited to, 70-200mm lens repair, new core 2 duo non-mac laptop, and possibly change incinerate the same 3 pairs of underwear i've worn for the past 2 years.

if you guessed A or 4d, you're horribly wrong and possibly disfigured in and around the facial area. in fact, you'd me more correct if you selected all of the above, a choice i didn't take the time to make an option for.

in truth, despite 3 straight months at the beach in Thailand, Sri Lanka and India, i didn't feel myself re-energizing to tackle more of my arduous travel and photography schedule. furthermore, there's only so much vegetarian food a man can take in India before he goes insane! i'll be the first to hypothesize a direct link between a diet deprived of meat with the sexual depravity of Indian men. Sociologists, get to work!

my travels resume late september where i'll again begin daily battles with public male urination/masturbation, the bubonic plague and worst of all, forced vegetarianism. if you know me, you're well aware i hate every form of -ism on earth (except capitalism).

thejerk.org will remain more active than ever during my vacation from my vacation so keep your browser's homepage locked into this uniform resource locator (url) on the good ol' ISH (information super-highway). 8/8/08 begins my coverage of all heavy metallic weights cleaned and jerked during the 696th Summer Olympiad. as part of the coverage, we'll also stroll down memory lane to a time when it was acceptable to use the words 'pocket hercules' and 'snatch' in the same sentence without fear of litigation.

hasta la proxima vez, pendejitas!