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May 22, 2005

well i, for one think it's about time...

Modern science has pinpointed and eradicated a host of grave problems. Now comes the news in 2005 that a dilemma that has plagued many overweight 4th of july bbq masters has finally been solve: buns thrown in the garbage for lack of a meaty mate.

Packaging problem that plagued hot dog lovers solved (reported by ABC news - chicago)

By Frank Mathie
May 17, 2005 � At one time or another all shoppers have faced the hot dog and hot dog bun dilemma. You either have to buy too many hot dogs or too few buns or you end up with extra buns and not enough dogs. But now dogs are dogs and buns are buns and finally the twain have met...

Unmentioned and unrepentant Hebrew National is one of the worst offenders in this realm, serving up 7 franks per package where on average, buns come in a sack of 8. Do the calculus and you'd realize the travesty in buying such large unmatched portions of buns and franks in order to avoid food waste and your subsequent financial ruin.

I mean, come on, it's the '00s for the love of Ezekiel. Why did the scientists and researchers wait so long? Should we begin questioning our federal grant allocations?

Now if they can only fix the problem of bun length where all hot dogs hang the obligatory 1/4 inch off both ends, we may be traveling down the road to world peace and further American hegemony.

May 18, 2005

Hot off the press

Demand drives BJ Services profit up 50% (reported by

it's in print so it's gotta be true

don't bother clicking on the link

April 11, 2005

those wacky nips

Tokyo Protests Anti-Japan Rallies in China


I feel china should be allowed to demonstrate in protest of japanese textbooks. then the nips come and protest the original protest. well guess what, i protest japan's protest!

anyone wanna protest that?! if so, i'll put a jihad on your protest and don't you dare protest my jihad!

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