classified advertisement
thejerk.org is now holding tryouts for cambodian girlfriend(s) or wife (wives) aged 18 to 29.
qualified applicant has all of the following:
- speaks poor to reasonable english or korean (o se habla espanol)
- has typical asian-latina look (darker the berry, sweeter the juice)
- is blessed with prominent, semi-spherical buttocks
- no history of mental retardation
- extra points for superfluous nipple
- 10+ years experience server-side java programming in unix environment
- 5+ years experience sql server and/or oracle database administration (will consider mysql skills)
- Microsoft Office Suite proficiency a must
- good personal hygiene (which necessarily means no unibrow)
- large hands
- shorter or equal to 5 foot, six inches
no salary but great benefits (e.g. color television with remote control, hot and cold running water, american citizenship, daily mcdonald's outtings - no supersizing)
ping pong ball tricks a plus. lady-boys and vietnamese need not apply. thai women will be shortlisted.
email or meet in my pants at 11pm sharp.
regards,
the jerk