despite its natural beauty and the finest sand known to man and lady-boy alike, few tourists visit this little-known thai island. for a 4-time repeat visitor like myself, there isn't much to do except bathe in the clear waters and rub the pure white sand in and around my assy nipples. for first timers, you can choose to snorkel or tour the neighboring deserted islands... or rub pure white sand in and around your assy nipples...

(as you probably guessed, i'm still a bit 17mm crazy with my new canon 5D camera)

you ask, which island is this in thailand? the secret will go to the grave with me, along with my 5D SLR and all my living wives from the 4 corners of the globe. god bless polygamy! (i'll give you a hint: it's off the east or west coast of thailand... and it has sand)

and for those of you at home huddling over your coal stoves in 32 degree temperatures (0 Celcius) wishing me a speedy trip to hell, i say to thou:

don't hate the playa'... hate the game.

Posted by thejerk at 08:48 AM | Permalink

as if my Canon Rebel XT (350D for non-americanos) weren't enough, i made a purchase in Kuala Lumpur that i'm not sure if i can afford... but i'm not sure if i can't afford it, if you know what i mean.

i admit, despite my checkered past (14 misdemeanors, 3 felonies and one unfortunate incident involving 3rd period gym, a pickle and being alone in the locker room), i've been given, no, i've earned the opportunity to travel the world. i should photograph with the best equipment possible, no?

my first year i shot with what i now realize was one of the worst digital cameras known to man, a point and shoot Fujifilm silly-cam. my next upgrade was better but not quite up to snuff although it did incorporate a 10x optical zoom which launched me into the world of privacy violating photography. the 350D was my first foray into the SLR realm and now i'm hooked on high quality images. i've seen what's capable with the proper equipment so i plan to capture the rest of my travels with one of the best pieces of full-frame cameras available to non-professional mortals.

behold, the latest contribution to my poverty and one of the many reasons i'll be required to work well past mandatory retirement age:

this is my last frivolous purchase. the next time i spend money must be something i absolutely need. i've narrowed my choices down to penile-girth implant... or a 50mm f1.4 Canon lens. again, i plead to all sugar-mommies out there... give a brotha' a helping hand!

Posted by thejerk at 08:03 AM | Permalink

for those that don't know me and my sublime academic past, among the gratuitous degrees i've earned, i'm most proud of my phD in racialist stereotyping and cast-iron cookery. my thesis proved beyond any doubt that all chinese people look identical including ethnic chinese that reside outside the motherland.

i recently met an indonesian girl of chinese ancestry that proves beyond any doubt that out of 1.3 billion people, the chinese have at least 1,000 identical twins (is 'twins' the correct word?). you be the judge whether this indonesian (right) resembles my chinese friend from home, A.Chentars.

and while we're on the subject, it's been proven by modern science so why deny it: white people all look alike. here, my friend Sabrina (from home) matched up with a Swede i met in Kuala Lumpur.

identical? you be the judge.

and finally, my friend Harish along with his exact counterpart:

you can now consider yourself educated in racialist stereotyping. your racialist membership card is in the mail.

Posted by thejerk at 06:45 PM | Permalink