unless you live under a rock or your mountain hovel is located inconveniently far from electricity (or you don't get HBO b/c it costs too much and they only show Woody Allen movies during the day), then you're probably familiar with the greatest television show known to man. if you even begin to utter 'Sopranos', i'll, as one Jordanian guy once threatened me, "kick your lower intestine, enshallah!"

thanks be to god, the good peoples at MSN are streaming the first season of Arrested Development. so stop watching old reruns of Gilmore Girls and ready that DIY stitching kit you bought at REI the last (and only) time you went car-camping, because you're gonna bust a gut laughing. G.O.B.'s chipped tooth bit gets me every time.

http://arresteddevelopment.msn.com

now to find an internet connection in indonesia fast enough to stream this show and download the latest snuff pr0n, enshallah!

Posted by thejerk at 02:39 AM | Permalink

anyone who knows me, knows that i love to stuff a turkey here and there. i sometimes stuff turkeys on Thanksgiving Day also. forget turkeys, i'll stuff pretty much anything i can get my hands on... whatever action i can get these days, i'll take.

much like watching an NFL game on thanksgiving, in a sort of tradition i've kept on and off through the past thanksgivings, i submit to you, the infamous turkey tan picture. oh, how it makes me laugh.

happy thanksgiving you fruitcakes

Posted by thejerk at 03:42 AM | Permalink

the title pretty much says it all. poor li'l guy's a roadside-feline away from being in traction. btw, what the F is 'traction'?

Posted by thejerk at 08:57 PM | Permalink

a picture i forgot to post months ago. a 'facial room', also translated into chinese.

next time i'm giving a chinese girl a facial, i'll know precisely how to spell it. did i say "chinese girl"? i meant to say "myself".

Posted by thejerk at 08:53 PM | Permalink

you haven't seen bali until you've caught a performance involving monkey gods fighting human armies.

Hanuman of Balinese 'Kecak' fame

Balinese 'Borong' Dancing

(sorry about the lazy post... the internet's so damn slow, this is the limit of my blogabilitiness)

Posted by thejerk at 08:48 PM | Permalink

as a former employee of CNET Networks (based in San Francisco) for 5 glorious ornery years, i feel it's my duty to rat on anyone infringing on its world-renown slightly recognized trademark. CNET, if you're reading this, you can paypal me any large sum of money for my loyalty as well as the inevitable windfall from your crushing litigation of CNET Malaysia.

CNet Malaysia

btw, if you're having a hard time distinguishing CNET Malaysia from CNET SF, here's a hint: one exploits its asian workers in sweatshop conditions and is heavy handed in dealing with sexual harrassment complaints... the other one's in malaysia.

Posted by thejerk at 06:55 PM | Permalink

after one and a half days in Brunei's capitol, B.S.B., your intrepid (& learned) explorer discovers as many interesting facts a person can possibly discover about a place when he breezes through en route to more interesting pastures.

myths:

• Brunei's streets are paved with gold


• public fountains pipe champagne 24-hours a day

facts:

• one of Brunei's princes has a yacht named 'Tits'


• 'Tits' has 2 smaller tenders named 'Nipple I' and 'Nipple II'


• one of Brunei's princes has little to no class


• loads of Filipina domestic help run amok


• i've given up any hopes of losing weight off my corpulent frame

not yet known:

• whereabouts, if any, of the 'loose-moraled' white women that make up the sultan's harem


• my current weight since gaining 30 lbs (14 kg) this summer

the ordinariness of Brunei leaves me as shocked as you. in summary, Brunei looks peculiarly like the country it's sandwiched between, malaysia... except with a different currency and a heap more filipina domestic help.

Posted by thejerk at 06:48 PM | Permalink