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July 16, 2007

my simpsons avatar (verdict: decidedly unasian)

everyone's doing it so like a mindless cockroach, i'll follow suit.

this is supposed to be me. clearly the creator of the Simpsons avatar, uh, creator, is a white dude. no asian features can be added to avatars, most notably my flat and flavorless buttocks and sparse fu-man-chu mustache.

Simpsons avatar

i got nothing more. peace out, punk asses

May 24, 2007

miss universe files updated

in case you've failed to noticed, my miss universe 2007 page is updated for your wacking watching pleasure.

to miss universalicious

somewhat skimpy swimsuit and evening gown photos now available. unfortunately, the only nip slip is when my japanese friend fell while looking at the photos. oh, Ryoshi, will you ever learn not to wear wooden geta on polished floors.

*** UPDATE to the update ***

a concerned fan (via Wikipedia) writes in:

A number of contestants were born outside the country or have different origins to that which they will represent in the pageant:

* Miss Germany (Angelica Glass) is half Filipino.[31] Her father is from the Philippines and her mother is German. Miss Norway Kirby Ann Tan Basken is also half Filipino.[16]
* Miss Canada 2007 (Inga Skaya) was born in Russia, as was Natalie Glebova, Miss Canada 2005 and Miss Universe 2005. The past three Miss Canada titleholders (2005, 2006, and 2007) were born in Eastern Europe.
* Miss USA (Rachel Smith) was born on an American army base in Panama.
* Miss Venezuela (Ly Jonaitis) is of Lithuanian and Russian origin.
* Miss U.S. Virgin Islands Renata Christian was born in Puerto Rico.
* Miss Indonesia (Agni Pratistha Kuswardono) was born in Canberra, Australia.

*** end update ***

it's interesting the half-breeds come from the nations that produce the most foreign prostitutes (i.e. eastern europe & philippines). just a racist observation on my part.

October 08, 2006

when irish eyes are ... kinda indifferent to your general existence

originally i wanted to poke fun at the irish with drunk & pasty jokes but i have little interest in blabbing at this late hour. i'll just come clean and admit to my hidden agenda which was to post a few pictures of attractive women. it's mainly intended for the perverts out there because child molesters' turn just as many, if not more pages than the average non-pervert.

look, i need the advertising revenue to fund my wandering lifestyle. and if i haven't thanked you for september's page-turns that resulted in a whopping $0.55 generated, then i do so now. on second thought, allow me to say, i hate you all.

the incomparable dara
she's an irish

kat... she be illin'
she's an irish (too)

dara and kat's sister (i can't remember her name right now - so sorry)
they're both an irishes

the irish should be proud of their darling lasses, almost as proud as they should be of this guy

enjoy the pictures, you rapscallions!

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November 15, 2005

the prostitution quiz (verdict: mildly educational)

look, with 3 consequtive posts about the subject, i don't blame you if you think i'm obsessed with this prostitution phenomenon. but i'm not. ok, ok. i can't lie to you. yes, i am.

anyway, if you have a few seconds, take the following prostitution quiz. you'd be surprised the situations i come across every day in the philippines.

which of the following are cases of prostitution:

a) you buy a nice catholic girl dinner on a date then retire to your place for a zesty round of "hide the salami"

b) a half naked lady approaches you on the street then offers you a blowjob. you negotiate it to half her original price then take her home.

c) you meet a girl at the bar then after buying her a few drinks, engage in an activity locally known as "punching the munchkin".

d) a 9 year old girl trips then rips her hymen. at the exact time you walk by her, you accidentally drop a 500 peso bill. she picks it up.

e) you meet a known prostitute. you have consensual sex without the promise of payment. before she leaves, you "tip" her 1000 pesos.

WRONG! they're all cases of prostitution and you will go to hell for thinking anything different!

thanks for playing and i'll see you in eternal damnation!

dassa dude (warning: don't be so quick to take your pants off this time)

it's really one of the worst feelings to be rejected by every girl i've met in the philippines. is it the saggy man-boobs? or it's perhaps my wonderfully permed hair. i don't blame a woman who doesn't wanna date a man with more beautiful hair than her.

what keeps my shattered self-esteem partially afloat is that homosexual men seem to love me. and rightfully so! i'm smart enough. i'm good enough. and dog gone it, people like me!

in the same Dumaguete bar i met Kimberly, i met, dassa dude. it's not entirely clear if they are indeed pom-pom (aka prostitutes) but chances are, they are. i mean, sex changes don't exactly grow on trees, do they.

Continue reading "dassa dude (warning: don't be so quick to take your pants off this time)" »

the enlightenment of traveling

before my international traveling career began, my knowledge of the world was limited to our immediate neighbors, Canada and Mexico (both of which barely qualify as a countries anyway). since then, i'm learning how much better off, the citizens of the US&A have it than those of the rest of the world. on a daily basis, i see grinding poverty and hopelessness that make me want to abandon my travels and retreat back to the comfort of my San Francisco duplex and down a jar of fine caviar or a wheel of imported cheese.

but i perservere.

some time ago, i made a resolution to help at least one beggar a day. if i'm approached at a mcdonald's, he'll get a couple of burgers from me; if starbucks, a few pastries to line his stomach. the soft spot in my heart is reserved mainly for widowed or unmarried elderly women who generally don't get a fair shake in these third world countries to begin with. the prevailing notion is that without a husband, a woman amounts to nothing and hence their careers are built exclusively around the home lessening their marketability in the work force. and so, in general, i try to help an ailing old woman with a handful of pesos, or baht or rupees every day.

with that said, check out these photos of this really hot Dumaguete prostitute!

Continue reading "the enlightenment of traveling" »

September 17, 2005

boracay montage

nuts to me! i knew i should've done this perving in manila's upper class malls. there's nothing like exploiting incredibly wealthy girls that'd never talk to me anyway.

Continue reading "boracay montage" »

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