Although I usually prefer to write on subject matter that involves humiliation and degradation, I couldn't help resist posting this disgustingly cute puppy video.

With a head that size, no matter what animal you are, you're bound to be adorable. But more importantly, with a head this big, you're unable to right yourself from a fallen position.

So what's more important to you? Being adorable or the ability to stand upright after a fall? There are no right or wrong answers... except in this case. The right answer is to be adorable... then someone will help you after you've fallen. If you're ugly, no one will come within a few feet of you.

Posted by thejerk at 10:51 PM | Permalink | Comments (1)

On the 1 month anniversary of my quitting smoking, I present to you one of the lesser known brands of cigarettes in India:

Nothing's more refreshing than a Stalin Hitler... cigarette.

Posted by thejerk at 05:43 AM | Permalink | Comments (0)

In my absence, I've kept myself rather busy scouring the ol' ISH (information super-highway) to bring you godless heathens more and more educational and/or rewarding content. As of 11:21pm last night, I reached the end of the internet and I'm ready to begin posting my findings. (In case you were wondering, no, I wasn't at all being lazy and neglecting this site in favor of my photolicious new website: Daily Travel Photos.)

Pull up a chair, you trust fund babies and unemployed goat herders. Enjoy yerself some witty cartoons:

mo' after the jump

Continue reading "Toons by Lunchbreath" »

Posted by thejerk at 07:49 AM | Permalink | Comments (0)

more at http://awkwardfamilyphotos.com/

Posted by thejerk at 12:05 PM | Permalink | Comments (0)

take the advice of a Juilliard trained travel blogger: grab his most recent book for laughs beyond belief.

Posted by thejerk at 11:56 PM | Permalink | Comments (0)

lord knows i can use some quick scam to replenish my cash reserves to continue a life of international travel and disease-free prostitutes. after 5 years of globetrotting, the balance in my bank account is as low as the count of sperm in my under-utilized genitalia but as of this morning, things are looking up:

http://www.whocanisue.com/
http://www.sueeasy.com/
http://www.legalmatch.com/

like an internet dating service, these websites match up the desperate (e.g. me) with litigious scavengers of the western world. it's kinda like match.com for the (more) morally bankrupt. the websites allow you to post how you were nominally wronged and a lawyer presumably responds with a dollar amount attainable for the perceived tort.

reflecting carefully, i fear that maybe the terrorists are right after all and i'm starting to see their perspective. i'm however, working overtime with a slew of other holy wars to devote any energy to this one. one jihad at a time, please. on second thought, i need the fast cash and i'm through turning tricks in San Francisco's colorfully named, "tenderloin" district. lawsuit me, my good man and nuts to terrorism, for now.

now leave me alone so i can continue to trawl these "law" websites for any class action lawsuits i can hone in on. failing this, my only recourse is to stop traveling and hire prostitutes overflowing with disease.

thejerk legal advice: wear a neck-brace and you win every time, either in a court of law or more importantly, the court of comedy.

Posted by thejerk at 03:02 AM | Permalink | Comments (0)

the link below is of a mildly entertaining flash animation if you're a nerdy computer type but having been out of the internet loop for a while, this thing may be old as the curdled milk in your grandma's boobs. don't say i didn't warn you (i.e. about your grandma's curdled milk).

http://www.deviantart.com/deviation/34244097/

Posted by thejerk at 11:17 PM | Permalink | Comments (0)