Adios America... again.
in case you haven't noticed, i've left the country yet again... after gaining 20 pounds (10kg) over the past 5 months, yet again... and soiling the toilets of various fools hosts that have been dim-witted generous enough to allow me to kick them in the short and curlies stay at their houses... yet again.
it's a tradition for me to occasionally revisit the US&A to pack on a few pounds before the effects of amoebic dysentary and a steady international diet of deep fried insects take their tole. my second return saw an ample 5' 6" frame (i'll be 5' 7" in august) increase 15% in mass or as i like to say, got 15% hunkier. but we all know this won't last. by the end of ramadan 2006, i'll be back to my scientifically designated weight for my height range and general level of fruity mirth.
the past 6 months vacation (away from my now 3-year vacation) have otherwise treated me well. i took a few vacations (from my vacation in Cali from my now 3-year vacation) to vancouver and my home town of XXXX XXXXXX, New Jersey. in new jersey, i had the audacity to revisit my alma mater ergo taking a vacation from my vacation from my vacation from my now 3-year vacation. continue to the next paragraph if you don't quite follow what i'm saying. continue to the next paragraph for everyone else... because i have nothing else to say about this matter except, XXXX XXXXXX high school football rules!
also, in case you haven't noticed, the site's been redesigned just enough so the less intellectually capable fans are unable to recognize it as thejerk.org (formerly www.meatcondom.com). don't get me wrong. the content is just as unreadable and insane as before... but now it's surrounded by a dark blue color and packed with an increased level of your daily recommended dose of calcium. one further improvement to the 'package' is a new digital SLR camera with incredibly large telephoto lens, capable of capturing details on a person only a parental unit should see. perverts and members of the roman catholic clergy, rejoice. yes i admit it, i was wrong; there is a god and her name is canon digital rebel xt with sigma 70-200mm f2.8 lens.
the first leg of my journey was spent laying over in hawaii and the philippines. yes, the same philippines where i spent 6 months. on a mildly related note, the onboard entertainment from SF to Honolulu was what i now declare as the feel good movie of 2006: Akeelah and the Bee. (shameless amazon link below)
watch it and if you're not uncontrollably sobbing on a male flight attendant's shoulder, you're a better man than i. plus it stars morpheus trying to teach some li'l chickie poo how to spell.
but i digress.
currently in tow with thejerk is a travel virgin and old classmate from university, Nuprin. it's not his real name, of course but the nickname given to an small iconoclastic asian man-child at a time when, Nuprin, the headache medication's tagline littered the airwaves: Nuprin. little. yellow. different. ditching him in the middle of borneo should lead to a few comedic stories or untimely death or hopefully both. photos to come shortly after.
well anyway, it's been swell, the US&A. i'm off to rejoin my original now 3-year long vacation full of lukewarm diet coke, imposed celibacy, and laughs at other people's expense.
adios and stay tuned to "around the world with the jerk part III: the attempt to monetize your meager traffic."
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Comments
my love .why dont ya want me.pls make me a baby.pls
man ,you dont know how hard it is searching for work.in the mean while i began selling flowers.the fools think igive them low prices but i charge them 200% of the price i buy it,and if it will go good i might become "a flower man "
and if it will become a start up i will join you sooner than i think i could.
dont wait for me,but you can dream on me every third night.
Posted by: lior | September 3, 2006 10:53 PM
Hi P.
How was your sunrise photographs last Sunday morning in Malate? Wish to see him here with your spicy-hot comments. Hahaha. Shoot, shoot, and shoot until you grow weary (no pun intended).
Posted by: Jaspercaesar | September 4, 2006 02:17 AM
Gee thanks for the new url. My IT department is going to love the fact that I'm visiting a site called Meat Condom.
On Thursday night, I'll be feasting on a double PMP, pep, heavy, liquid.
Enjoy your international fare; whatever that may be (I'm guessing grubs in a nice hollandiase).
Posted by: Mizak | September 5, 2006 05:17 AM
i thought i knew you and then you pull that stunt on me when you were in new jersey. i always saved .5% of my heart for you... now it is 0%.
Posted by: Mr German | September 5, 2006 07:26 PM
Great, off to defile my country some more.
Posted by: ManFacial | September 12, 2006 01:09 PM
lior:
oh, i'm holding back as hard as i can on a good israeli/jewish joke here. now you owe me one, shlomo. i took it easy on you but in the future, i shan't be so generous.
you're always welcome on my journey to piggyback off my vast wealth of knowledge of traveling and eating outrageous amounts of curry (the secret's in the mid-meal purge). it's always good to have a chubby israeli sasquatch to make fun of in my pictures also. remember that time at that manila restaurant when you slipped and fell and a cucumber 'accidentally' entered your butthole... 3 times? those were good times. and the time you made out with those filipina girls until you discovered they were men? i told you to beware of that undulating bulge but you didn't listen, all 3 days in a row!
shalom and may all your nation's future superfluous bombs make their mark. and surely you wish my nation's superfluous bombings the same. USA! USA! USA!
tj
Posted by: thejerk | September 13, 2006 02:58 AM
jasper:
speaking of shootings, how's manila these days? gun-violence aside, i'll soon post the manila sunrise photo. get 'em while they last because as soon as the jetlag is gone, it's back to waking at 3pm hung over from the previous night's cocktails of alcohol and heroin. wait, did i say heroin? i meant heroin AND roofies.
tj
Posted by: thejerk | September 13, 2006 03:01 AM
whoops-a-daisy and a dipsy-doodle. i think i sent that first blog notification out when the site wasn't yet converted over to thejerk.org. all following emails and links should point back to thejerk.org or persiankitty.com depending on your nationality and level of testosterone/perversion. however, if anyone out there is comfortable with meatcondom.com, it'll always be active... well at least until paris hilton decides to buy it from me. she is the epitomy of a meat condom.
tj
Posted by: thejerk | September 13, 2006 03:01 AM
your loathsome attempt at emotional blackmail may work getting your sister into bed with you but it won't work on me!
and how dare you invite me, then uninvite me only to invite me again when you realized i'd already made plans for that weekend.
turd-guy, the depths of your mental depravity know no bounds.
thanks for writing!
TJ
Posted by: thejerk | September 13, 2006 03:02 AM
voravit:
hey, don't be so egotistical! i'm going to defile countries other than just thailand. but you're correct in that i'll defile thailand a bit more than the other places i'll visit. god/buddha/allah bless those ping pong ball entertainers.
Posted by: thejerk | September 21, 2006 03:41 AM