in case you haven't noticed, i've left the country yet again... after gaining 20 pounds (10kg) over the past 5 months, yet again... and soiling the toilets of various fools hosts that have been dim-witted generous enough to allow me to kick them in the short and curlies stay at their houses... yet again.

it's a tradition for me to occasionally revisit the US&A to pack on a few pounds before the effects of amoebic dysentary and a steady international diet of deep fried insects take their tole. my second return saw an ample 5' 6" frame (i'll be 5' 7" in august) increase 15% in mass or as i like to say, got 15% hunkier. but we all know this won't last. by the end of ramadan 2006, i'll be back to my scientifically designated weight for my height range and general level of fruity mirth.

the past 6 months vacation (away from my now 3-year vacation) have otherwise treated me well. i took a few vacations (from my vacation in Cali from my now 3-year vacation) to vancouver and my home town of XXXX XXXXXX, New Jersey. in new jersey, i had the audacity to revisit my alma mater ergo taking a vacation from my vacation from my vacation from my now 3-year vacation. continue to the next paragraph if you don't quite follow what i'm saying. continue to the next paragraph for everyone else... because i have nothing else to say about this matter except, XXXX XXXXXX high school football rules!

also, in case you haven't noticed, the site's been redesigned just enough so the less intellectually capable fans are unable to recognize it as thejerk.org (formerly www.meatcondom.com). don't get me wrong. the content is just as unreadable and insane as before... but now it's surrounded by a dark blue color and packed with an increased level of your daily recommended dose of calcium. one further improvement to the 'package' is a new digital SLR camera with incredibly large telephoto lens, capable of capturing details on a person only a parental unit should see. perverts and members of the roman catholic clergy, rejoice. yes i admit it, i was wrong; there is a god and her name is canon digital rebel xt with sigma 70-200mm f2.8 lens.

the first leg of my journey was spent laying over in hawaii and the philippines. yes, the same philippines where i spent 6 months. on a mildly related note, the onboard entertainment from SF to Honolulu was what i now declare as the feel good movie of 2006: Akeelah and the Bee. (shameless amazon link below)