with that said, i'm on in an island called malapasqua eating mounds of shrimp and squid shrimps and squids. i'm certain the prepositions and plurals in the previous sentence are incorrect but it doesn't matter when seafoods is this cheaps!

i don't know much but one thing i know is that an overweight korean american with a propensity to ooze mcdonald's deep fryer grease from his pores probably shouldn't dive with sharks but the waters around malapasqua (translated from espanol: bad christmas) are teeming with larger than life creatures so i'll ignore my cautious side and see if i can get myself dismembered and/or dead.

it's never too late to learn how to muff scuba dive. i dislike nearly all things nature. you've seen one mountain, you've seen them all, i always say. likewise, you've kicked one dog, you've kicked them all or you've seen one coral reef, you've seen them all. but the chance to swim with sharks comes around only once in a lifetime so i've plunked down US$300 for scuba lessons to see if i can wrestle one of these gorgeous 3-8 meter (9-24 feet) thresher sharks with my bare hands and manage to yank a tooth from its mouth. and in case you're curious, yes i do have a nickname for my penis, "the apprentice"... wait, i meant, yes i do have my will prepared. i leave everything to my pet hamster, homer without whom i'd know only a fraction about sex than i do now.

and without further ado, the reason i began this seemingly unending entry: the scuba hand signals i've had to learn. this won't be humorous to all, just to the divers with perverted minds. i take that back because i just reread my annotated comments, this won't be humorous at all so go find some other enriching activity and never return to this site. but paypal me money because i'm poor.

click to see anotated flickr version

click to see anotated flickr version