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the ferdinand marcos mausoleum. verdict: waxy

i can't believe it's not butter! it's like that time i ordered toast with i can't believe it's not butter and they served me margarine instead. i yelled, "i can't believe it's not i can't believe it's not butter!" and that's exactly what i screamed when i saw deposed ex-president ferdinand marcos' body laying in a small glass enclosure. while idly curious filipino gawkers stared with awe, i stood with horror at this self-serving monument (with adjacent museum) and its strange resemblance to buttery deliciousness.

his body, dressed in regalia fit for a faux self-declared king, lay inside a fortress-like building with high vaulted ceilings, protected from further decay by industrial strength air conditioners. the exposed parts of his skin are unblemished and exaggerated giving him a youthful appearance despite its ashen complexion like expired butter (or i cam't believe it's not butter). his lips also have that grayish tone implying the embalmers are limited in their ability to see color. in spite of the skin tone, his body was flawless, like a filipino adonis and my thoughts turned immediately to forgery. even his perfect helmet of hair was jet black despite marcos' death in his early 60s. no asian ages this well. i mean, the hairpiece couldn't look more fake if it had a chinstrap.

upon closer inspection, you can see small laugh wrinkles by his left eye. either the embalmers were sticklers for detail or this is the real deal. his groin is either able to defy years of decay and gravity or it's obviously stuffed like an artichoke appetizer. it'd be a lie to say i didn't laugh, but the dignified internal laughter you'd expect at this type of side-show.

if only i were allowed to take a picture. it's interesting to note that in the northern part of the country, he's not as reviled as you'd think. the building resides in a town governed by ferdinand's attractive and "doable" daughter, Imee. she could easily be an actress or model which would logically enable her to rule effectively as a skilled politician. filipino actor turned ex-president, Joseph Estrada or superhunk action star, Governor Shwarzenegger have set the precedent. but i believe in the justice system and that one day the supreme court will enact an international law that bars entertainers from holding public office. one day.

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