on my last night in cherating, i decided enough is enough. i marched (aka got a ride) down to the turtle sanctuary and played a waiting game for the elusive egg-laying beeyatches and was finally rewarded for my perserverance while simultaneously punished by the presence of chinese tourists. i've rarely been up until 4am on my mini-retirement except for the odd diarrhea or to clean my sheets from those recurring dreams i have of the syrian nightmare's oviparous mom.

behold:

i assure you that's the proboscis-like cooter of a turtle pooping birth to about 40 young'ns which are quickly snatched away by the malaysian park rangers before chinese tourists make away with them for use as an aphrodesiac and/or cure for pancreatic cancer. for those of you that have seen me make doodie, you'll see an oddly familiar similarity to the size, shape, quantity and color to the turtles eggs.

in a couple of days i'll be basking in "tiny" timothy tayag's opulent manila apartment fighting off hordes of filipino women that wanna be my baby's mama. after a mildly rigorous screening process, i'll choose the beefiest among them able to carry my 50 pound (23 kg) backpack for me around the philippines while i attempt to achieve my critically acclaimed "half-year of shirtlessness" threat pledge.

.:. edit .:.
so i just looked at the picture on the web and it looks nothing like a turtle. but rest assured, it is.