attacked by prostitutes... again
it happened in koh samui, thailand and it happened again here in china. this time i was sober but again, this time, i almost said yes.
i get a call in my hotel room and the lady is talking gibberish (it's all chinese to me). i urge her that i don't understand and hang up the phone. 10 seconds later, 4 prostitutes of varying attractiveness, shoot through the door and proceed to, at first, offer me a massage. i repeatedly say no and after some time, one of them pulls out a condom, points to my crotch (as if i didn't know what it was for... well i knew mostly what others used it for) and continues her chinese gibberish.
i continue to say no, but in my head, i'm actually considering it. really, you should've seen one of them... she looked like the chinese version of mary kate olsen (see christmas wish, below).
after some time of repeated rejections, one of the friskier prostitutes begins grabbing at my bulbous crotch. this, naturally signaled the others to pounce. so there i was, in some random hotel in the middle of china, being aggressively seduced by 4 diseased prostitutes. finally, i pull out a picture of some random girl that happened to be nearby and, under heavy duress, quickly look up "girlfriend" in my translation dictionary. i think they bought it. they left me with the offer of a 100 yuan screw if i changed my mind. i mulled it over all night until finally, i fell asleep.
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Comments
hummm.... "i continue to say no, but in my head, i'm actually considering it. really, you should've seen one of them... she looked like the chinese version of mary kate olsen"
don't know about anyone else but if the above quote is true, i don't beleve they left your room without your 100 yuan =:-D
Posted by: scubaman99 | December 8, 2004 03:52 PM
Hey remember that time in Agra when you assaulted the trinket vendors for being too aggresive? Now that I think back on the incident, I think they were selling more then trinkets. Why else would someone try to sell you a doll made of matted buffaloe hair? I mean who needs something like that anyway. I think the dolls were being foisted on us to show us which parts they were willing to "manipulate" for what amounts of money. If my memory and my Hindi serve me correctly, they were offering to play speed bag with your groin for only 30 rupees. Thats like 70c. What value! In the Tenderloin the same service costs at least 20 bucks. Not that I would know--I always go for the Judo-Chop to the erect member, an elite and more expensive service.
Posted by: Ragdinorok | December 15, 2004 12:44 AM
sir, a man w/ the clear lack of moral fiber such as yourself would think such a thing. in my country, your innuendos would have you banished to the farthest regions of Dhaka, your only outside human contact made for weekly hosings and groin "purification" (a process that involves clorox bleach and a 15 foot long cotton swab).
i simply interpreted the sales of tacky tourist souvenirs as a desperate, silent plea to adopt and forthwith lift their pathetic souls from their doomed mangalorian existences. that's why i felt it necessary to humiliate them in front of their souvenir-mongering colleagues. a small but convincing sign from me that no such act of charity is forthcoming.
Posted by: thejerk | December 16, 2004 02:46 AM